I have been diagnosed with "insanabile cacoethes screbendi"...

... in other words, an incurable passion to write...
It is like an itch I have to scratch!
Now, notice if you will, the Latin word insanabile.
What English word does that remind you of?

Okay... here goes:

I have alot of children. Some I know have alot more... some have alot less. But according to today's 2.5 children per household... well, I have alot. And some have expressed wonder almost to the point of criticism as to WHY we adopted more after we had already surpassed the 2.5 "standard quota"... (we especially get alot of stares when we go eat at our favorite Chinese restaurant.)
"Hey, this is nothing compared to my friend that has like 11 kids (10 of which are teenagers) and two are out of her body experiences... and then there's my friends that have 8 that are all out of her body experiences." (At this point you need to picture a gaping mouth... not mine)
How about the people that see us out and about and say things like, "Are these ALL YOURS? THey can't be... You look too young."
"Yes, they are mine and they keep me young. (It will all catch up to me I'm sure, but I am really not too young... trust me.)" I respond jestfully.
"WOW! You have your hands FULL!" with an often not so approving tone.
"Oh, yes I do! Hands full of blessings."

Now am I dillusional? Do they always FEEL like blessings? Didn't the Lord also give me all these abundant gifts for MY SANCTIFICATION PROCESS!

I am not dillusional. I do have alot of fun... but boy do I have some stories.
Let me start with the twins we adopted. We knew it would be an adjustment. We could not quite picture what we knew, however. And I cannot sit here and paint you a totally pretty picture. It has been rough. And if I had an opportunity to go back and change things, I wouldn't. I love those boys as though they came out of my womb.
But they didn't.
THey came out of what seems more like a war zone.

We knew they came from chaos. From physical abuse and severe neglect. No discipline. No stability. No structure. No parental guidance. Chaos.

And WOW... was it quite eye opening when we brought them into our home. But we looked at this adoption just as we look at our marriage commitment from a Biblical perspective. Not a worldly, "Hey, if this doesn't work we can throw them back into chaos and go on with our lives."
Some have done that. THey adopt a child. It doesn't work quite like they thought it would, so they do what is called a disruption adoption. You know that friend of mine with 11 kids... 10 teens? I think four of them are children they adopted out of disruption. They have much Godly wisdom... and patience. (go to my "sheshe" link on the sidebar)

So the twins... they were... self-destructive. Literally.
THey were almost 3 years old when they came into our home.
They called everybody in the whole house "MA MA"... including my other children, my husband and pretty much everyone they came across. Obviously they were confused... among other things. They were so behind on their learning and I am amazed how far they have come.
I do not know all of their war stories.
I don't want to know them all.
I pray they don't remember them.
What I do know would make you weep.

Self-destructive? How? ... I had to put them in what my friend called a lap lock, before I gave them any kind of parental instruction regarding their safety or any kind of setting of appropriate boundaries, I had to sit myself in a crossed leg position, sit them in my lap and give them a "hug" as I admonished them. Essentially I was keeping them from hurting themselves and others. Why? Because, I quickly learned that if I did not do this, they would throw the biggest kicking, screaming, self-destructive fit I have ever seen... throw themselves on the floor by jumping up and landing on their backs onto toys... ouch... and so on. The first year of the adoption was... well, I am speechless... I guess it was indescribably challenging.

Within the first month of having them, I gave notice to end my public speaking ministry. My last two speaking engagements were for Pro-Life. It was obvious that for now, my season for that was over. I needed to concentrate on my family.

My prayer for all of my children is that the Lord would grab hold of them young!... Especially these twin boys. "Whatever it takes to draw them, all of them to Yourself Lord!"

It still is challenging. But they have come SO FAR. We recently moved... that was hard on them. They digressed. Apparently they never lived anywhere for very long and were in 6 different foster homes within 6 months before they came to us. I think they were afraid we were going to get rid of them.
It was perhaps the dillusional, "Aaah! Look, how cute! Twins!" syndrome for those foster families. And when reality hit... out the door they went.
Our new church family would have never guessed what they were like, they have changed so much... but there are still issues. Issues I give to the Lord every moment I can... for though I am weak, the Lord gives me strength.

I trust my Lord that He is faithful... that He has not given me more than I can bear... I rest in this truth most of the time, but I have my moments. And He is so good in that He has provided so many wonderful, Godly people to remind me of that when I forget... and then there's that "prayer pantry" I go into... you know, my food pantry just off my kitchen where I can shut the door for a much needed time of pleading before the Lord. I have scriptures taped to the wall in there, a Bible to grab hold of and desperately read, and ocassionaly I have thrown a book in there, like "Mothers of the Wise and Good" to encourage me to press on.

To Him be ALL the glory.

EX ANIMO

Every Portion of the truth of God EXCEPT...

"If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest expression every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides, is mere flight and disgrace, if he flinches at that point." -Martin Luther
I actually stole this quote off of someone's blog of whom I have gained respect more and more for! http://stevenjcamp.blogspot.com/
Here is a link to what I previously wrote about Luther: http://god-willing.blogspot.com/2006/01/wow-mom-you-must-be-genius.html

"Oh my Go_!"... whatever happened to Godly fear!

When I first got married, I really lacked godly fear. My husband came from a rich God-fearing heritage. Without excuse... even though I did not, I really had no fear of God. I thought of Him as a buddy. Not as an all-powerful, Holy God to be appropriately revered. Now I know there is a balance... but this is an attribute of God that we tend to sadly forget.

I would often say flippently, "Oh my Go_!"
or "Jeesh" and even "cra_." among others... I can't even write any of it anymore without cringing.
All the while observing my husband cringe when I would say these things... he literally turned white, like he might chunder. (I will let you google what chunder means)
"What is the big deal? Everyone does it?", I would say in ignorance.
"I don't." He would respond calmly. "You are taking God's name in vain." he said.
"Okay, so I will try to stop..." (habits are so HARD TO BREAK!)

I tried out a new one thinking I was clever...
"Oh my gosh!"
Until a friend told me to look up "gosh" in the dictionary.

Gosh is slang for God.
Jeesh is slang for Jesus.
Cra_ is really no better than ... well, you know.

GREAT! What do I do now? What is acceptable to say when I am frustrated?
Is "Oh my" okay?

How about the scripture that says, "...whoever speaks is to do so as one speaking the very utterances of God..." in I Peter.

"Why is it that, today, the masses are so utterly unconcerned about spiritual and eternal things, and that they are lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God? Why is it that even on the battlefields multitudes were so indifferent to their soul's welfare? Why is it that defiance of Heaven is becoming more open, more blatant, more daring? The answer is, Because "There is no fear of God before their eyes" (Rom. 3:18). Again; why is it that the authority of the Scriptures has been lowered so sadly of late? Why is it that even among those who profess to be the Lord's people there is so little real subjection to His Word, and that its precepts are so lightly esteemed and so readily set aside? Ah! what needs to be stressed today is that God is a God to be feared."---A.W. Pink
http://www.reformed.org/books/pink/pink_sov_10.html

On war memorials in Washington, DC. are the inspiring engraved words of some of our presidents. President Roosevelt's words used to announce the attack on Pearl Harbor were engraved as follows:
"Yesterday, December 7, 1941-- a date which will live in infamy--the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked. With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph."

But they left out the end of the quote... the most important part. Roosevelt ended the message with "so help us God."

An elderly woman that remembered the actual speech was very upset that this was left out.
Her husband said, "We're not supposed to say things like that now."
The two looked dismayed, shook their heads sadly and walked away.
She was right.
In "Flags of Our Fathers" by James Bradley on page 58 is Roosevelt's speech to the nation... that ends with "so help us God."

One woman observed, "The people who edited out that part of the speech when they engraved it on the memorial could have fooled me. I was born after the war. But they couldn't fool the people who were there. Roosevelt's words are engraved in their hearts."

People need to know before everyone forgets. People today are trying to change the history of America by leaving God out of it, but the truth is, God has been a part of this nation, since the beginning.

A quote from a terrorist:
"The world no longer fears America because they no longer fear God."

Muslims hate sin.
Christians tolerate it.
Muslims serve their god.
The Christians' God serves them.
Muslims punish their view of evil.
Christian-America celebrates evil, markets evil, cozies up to evil.
Muslims revere their god.
Christians compartmentalize theirs.

"Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall."

Go to this link and see how even our American Flag is founded on glorifying God: http://www.usflag.org/foldflag.html

More than one way to heaven...

http://www.reformationtheology.com/2006/02/there_may_be_more_than_one_way_1.php
is a link to one of the best posts I have ever read on this world-wide web blogosphere thingy... click and enjoy.

Arrogant, Condescending, Know-it-alls...

I recently read a post in which someone said Calvinism is a virus.
My response:
Calvinism... a virus? No. SIN is a virus... a soul sickness of which man makes merry with this disease.
While Arminianism is a doctrinal plague that infects truth. .. Calvinism is Biblical truth.
And if Calvinism is a virus, it is one worth catching...
"May we call all men everywhere to repent; to be infected with the contagious life-transforming grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ that alone can arrest men's souls for eternity; changing every area of their lives. This reformed, Calvinistic, grace based, biblical soteriology is our great hope."
http://stevenjcamp.blogspot.com/2006/02/contagious-infectious-doctrines-of.html

Someone else was concerned about "the reputation of Falwell and Liberty Seminary" being put on the line...
My response:
Reputation? Okay, I will refrain from saying anything... I encourage you to do your own research on Falwell and see what he has done with his own reputation.

Another wrote: "isn't that the essence of Calvinism, "Grace enough for me but I'm not sure about you."...
My response:
Truly said in pure ignorance (and I say that out of a heart of love)
Apparently whenever anyone speaks real truth, you may have to write after every other line of it... all said in love. I tend to be jestfully sarcastic... something actually hard to communicate in writing because one cannot see the true ache of my heart when faced with the reality of the prevelance of the mockery and plague of sin in this world.
To gain Biblical clarity on the Doctrines of grace read: http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0385.htm

Another stated that Calvinists come across as "arrogant, condescending, know-it-alls".
My response:
No... NOT "arrogant, condescending, know-it-alls"... but writings laboured over out of a heart earnestly weeping for God's truth not to be twisted.
Go to http://stevenjcamp.blogspot.com/2006/02/james-white-and-ergun-caner-square.html

Worldly Justification of an unspeakable Horror

I use to be pro-choice... until I had an abortion

The hardest thing I have ever written about or spoken about is my abortion. When I began compiling research for my first speaking engagement, I remember crying out to God... "I can't do this. It is too much. Too painful."
The details are horrid... what is done to an unborn child. The research went beyond grueling. I had an abortion in complete ignorance of what I was doing... knowing what I know now, how could I bury my head in the sand?

I became pregnant as an older teen. I was married. The details of that are not necessary, but the marriage lasted only lasted 4 months. And then I found out I was pregnant.

My father... a man that raised 2 girls and a boy for many years on his own. A man that never gave up, in spite of great adversity.
My mother... she left when I was 6. (Out of respect for her, I got her permission to tell this story).

My father begged me NOT to abort. So I went to my mother. She took me to the hospital to get an exam. They asked me, after they confirmed that I was pregnant, if I wanted to carry the baby to full term or abort the mass of tissue.

Okay... mass of tissue. I had no attachment to a mass of tissue that could easily be aborted, forgotten, right?

So my mother gave me the money I needed to have the abortion. She dropped me off at the clinic. I had no idea what I was doing. I did not bring enough money to be put to sleep through the "procedure"... so I was awake the whole time. They numbed me. I felt no physical pain... but I will never forget the tugging and the pulling.
In the midst of the abortion, I was struck with this horrid thought that I was murdering my baby... this wasn't just a mass of tissue.
I screamed, "STOP! Please stop... I can't do this."
And then I heard them whisper... "Oh, she's farther along than we thought."
THey spoke louder... "It's too late, honey. You did the right thing. Now, you can go on with your life."
That brought me no comfort for all I could remember was the feeling of having a baby literally ripped from my womb.
I will never forget the sound of that "vacuum".
I could hear the water running in the sink nearby.
I then heard a big plop...
"Did you just throw my baby in the trash?" I thought.
... Then they shuffled me out the back way.

I sat alone on the curb outside, waiting for my mother to come pick me up. She was an hour late and the smell of alcohol on her breath was overwhelming.
THey told me I would forget about the "mass of tissue' and be able to go on with my life, but I was having nightmares every night. For many years, a day did not go by that I did not contemplate suicide.

Guilt, sorrow, loss of dignity and deep shame are the most felt responses after an abortion. Our churches are full of women who have had an abortion and are too ashamed to admit it. But these are the women that need to especially stand up for the cause of life because they know first-hand the deep despair and lonely scars of regret that abortion can leave.
Psalm 32 says, "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long... then I acknowledged my sin to YOU and did not cover my iniquity. I said, I will confess my transgression to the LORD- and YOU, (O, LORD) forgave the guilt of my sin."

God graciously revealed to me several years later that I was a religious lost woman on a roller coaster ride of self-sustained religion... I possessed a counterfeit faith. I claimed with my mouth that I was a Christian... though I continued to live a very destructive lifestyle. What I had was an empty, dead-end religion. Though I professed to know God, my life denied Him... I was detestable, disobedient and truly useless for any good deed...
Why? Because my "good deeds" were done to be seen by others, not for the glory of God.

I was perishing from hunger... having bread in my hands and yet, not eating it. I went through the motions of serving God, but I was still SO EMPTY! I had convinced myself that I was a Christian. Hey...I live in the Bible belt. Everyone here says they are Christians... so I just fit in with this dead faith... this carnal Christianity.

I was so blind to my sinfulness because I was evaluating my life according to the standards of the world. But when I began to evaluate my life according to God's standards, I realized the weight of my sinfulness and deceit.

"ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)
I fell face down in shame and cried out to God... "I am so filthy before You, a holy GOD. Please, be merciful to me a sinner..."

I did not want to be ruled by sin any longer... I longed to be ruled by the ONE TRUE GOD.

No matter what we go through in life, whether your life is full of obvious sin, painful memories, resentments, or perhaps an appearance of a basically good person... WE ARE ALL DESPERATE WITHOUT GOD!

Please, examine your life and your mindset?
Do you really have a heart for God?
Are you a genuine Christian? Is the image of Christ imprinted on your life? Do you see God's work in you...
NOT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS...
But HIS WORK for HIS GLORY?

God sent His only Son to suffer and fully bear the penalty of sinners like me... I pray He draws you to Himself... that your eyes, your heart would be opened to His perfect truth... that He would grant you the grace to believe and trust in Him alone as your Saviour and Lord. And may you, as a result of this unmerited favour, actively long for and pursue holy living...this is not only an obligation, but a privilege.
Serving God, not because you have to as though it is something mundane and burdensome... but because you just can't help yourself... fall in love with the One who loved you first despite your sinfulness.

Please... choose life... and if you have had an abortion, may He grant you peace and heal the brokenness of this sin so that you can live a life that honors God and be enabled to encourage other women and young girls for the glory of God...

http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/sg1246.htm

I will be sharing more stories from the research I have done...
I will, in writing about pro-life, always refer you back to the stages of this writing process, if you had not gotten an opportunity to read what was previously written. I encourage you to read them if you want to get the whole picture. My first post on pro-life can be found here: http://god-willing.blogspot.com/2006/02/easier-left-unspoken.html

Inconsistencies in the Bible...

No... merely inconsistencies with man... coupled with superficial interpretations.

Life really is a vapor...

So please live it out like there is no tomorrow... treat your children like the gifts that they are. They are not annoyances. They are precious. Every breath is precious. There is only but one life on this earth to live... live it well, for the glory of the sovereign Lord.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Easier Left Unspoken...

Ronald Reagan published a booklet during an election year called "Abortion and the Conscience of a Nation." http://www.nationalreview.com/document/reagan200406101030.asp
This was considered political suicide... and yet, he was re-elected. (providentially)
In this book, Reagan wrote, "We cannot diminish the value of one category of human life --the unborn-- without diminshing the value of all human life." Reagan also stated that abortion is the "greatest moral crisis facing our country today... it is not for us to decide who is worthy to live and who is not."

The first time I spoke a similar testimony to what I am writing on this blog was at a fund-raising banquet for Care-Net Pregnancy Center. When I was done, I got down from the podium and went to the bathroom and wept. In the background I could hear a standing ovation... applause that went on and on. And it dawned on me how thankful I was that I left the room, for it wasn't me getting applauded, but my Lord... To Him be ALL the glory.

The things I write of today may seem easier left unspoken, buried... forgotten. But where would that leave us if we do not take a stand against this mass-murder of innocent life? Ignorance is NEVER an excuse. We MUST educate ourselves to the reality of the horrors taking place... and what is amazing, is that I have toned this down, and yet it is still horrid.

I also want to begin by saying I DO NOT CONDONE violent action against abortion clinics and doctors that perform such murder. What I do condone is GODLY ACTIVISTS. WE MUST reflect the COMPASSION of CHRIST on this issue when we fight for those babies' lives.

One of my favorite preachers (guess who) said: "...The Saviour is, by His Spirit, still on earth; let this truth encourage us. He is always in the midst of the fight... and as the conflict rages, what a sweet satisfaction it is to know that the Lord Jesus, in His office as our GREAT INTERCESSOR, is powerfully interceding for His people! O anxious gazer, do not look so much at the battle below, for there you will be enshrouded with smoke and amazed with garments rolled in blood. Instead, lift your eyes yonder where the Saviour lives and pleads, for while He intercedes, the cause of God is safe. LET US FIGHT AS THOUGH IT ALL DEPENDED ON US, BUT LET US LOOK UP AND KNOW THAT IT ALL DEPENDS ON HIM..."

There are people out there doing this now... They have rolled up their sleeves to fight, though enshrouded by smoke and garments covered in blood spilled by the innocent life of the unborn. They fight as though it really does all depend on them, yet they know they must look up to the One whom the innocent take refuge.
Who are these people? Places like Care-Net and Crisis Pregnancy Center... where they lovingly counsel young ladies, teens, woman who are still torn to peices by what they have done.

This technologically impaired mother of many is in the process of making available a link for you to listen to my radio testimony... thus saving my fingers from alot of typing. I will update you when that happens. In the mean time, I will post written excerpts from this testimony.

Excuseless and Senseless

The closer I get to the Lord and the more I try to live for Him,
the more I mourn over all that dishonours Him..

My failures are many, excuseless and senseless...
but yet He makes known to me His mercy & grace.

I have dishonoured Him even in my attempts to live for Him;
For all that I do is tainted with sin.
... and yet, He forgives, He comforts, He assures.

Sorrowful in this flesh, this body of death;
And yet REJOICING in the sweetness, the precious promises of His Word.

I work for people I love...

... and I LOVE to be around the people I work for. I have the BEST job around. I am surrounded by people who want to... who try their best to please me. I get rewarded several times a day... bonuses that go beyond your imagination.
For I am a wife and mother.
And my bonuses are simple pleasures like chocolate covered kisses from the mouth of my 3 year old smeared onto my cheek.
I am, by the grace of God, honored to take part in raising up for HIM a godly seed... what a joy to partake in contributing to the eternal well-being of the souls of my children.
It is a HIGH CALLING... this God-ordained vocation.
And though I have degrees in this and that, experiences, knowledge that could land me a nice paying, worldly career... cushy job outside my home, I wouldn't trade those chocolate covered kisses for the world.

What need is there of grace?...

If man has the free will to "choose" it?
When a "carnal Christian" comes in view essentially destroying the work of grace, making obedience and submission to Christ "optional"... then truly, what is the point of grace.
Are we not to be "a witness to the life of grace in the soul"? a "picture of grace embodied in a vessel of clay"... a "living proof of a living God"?
"fire insurance" salvation...
"carnal" Christianity ...
"open-theism"...
"arminianism"...
I could go on...
are truly the offspring of satan.
To clarify... I am not implying here that those who are Arminian or Open Thiestic are unregenerate... see the comments if you want to understand what I mean here. However, I do not believe carnal Christianity exists, nor should "fire insurance" salvation (a.k.a. "easy-believism") be thought of as a ticket into heaven with no need of fruit... obedience, submission to Christ.
"Good works are not a cause of salvation, but a consequence of the Holy Spirit’s work. Without good works, the Holy Spirit is not at work in the sanctification of the believer. And, absent the indwelling presence and ministry of the Spirit, the believer is only a nominal believer--unregenerate, if not reprobate."- That is a quote from The Triablogue... where you can feast on meat! http://triablogue.blogspot.com/2004/09/chosen-but-free-1.html

Blasphemous RUBBISH

I love how Pink poetically illustrates ARMINIANISM:
He says, it is "a religion of conditions, contingencies and uncertainties" and "is not Christianity" but "the daughter of Rome. It is that God-dishonouring, Scripture-repudiating, soul-destroying system of Popery whose father is the devil which prates about human merit, creature ability, works of supererogation and a lot more blasphemous rubbish, and leaves its blinded dupes in the fogs and bogs of uncertainty."
I agree with Pink when he goes on to state "Christianity deals with certainties which originated in the purpose and love of an unchanging God, who when He begins a good work, ALWAYS COMPLETES IT."
I DO NOT SERVE AN OPEN-THEISTIC GOD!
I serve a God that is truly sovereign (including in the way of salvation) and I am thankful for any ray of illumination granted me from the "lamp of God's Word"... for I can be quite dull sometimes... slow, but, by the grace of God... teachable.

"If YOU'RE a Christian, I don't want to be one..."

Ouch.
That was said to me soon after I first became a genuine Christian. And it hurt. It also caused me evaluate the actions in my life that triggered such a comment. I deserved it.
I made alot of promises I rarely kept and that had to stop.

Thankfully God does not

reveal the full extent of our
stench all at once.

Am I attentive or do I bury my head in the sand when God graciously reveals sin-issues that need attention... "sin-issues" can tend to be excruitiating, humiliating, painful... but always rightfully so. It should cause genuine repentance and remorse, brokenness and attention to the scriptures that reveal how to nip it in the bud.
I was obviously a liar. Because the root of unkept promises is just that. Lying.
So what does God's word reveal about lying and being a liar?
Well, when you are a liar, you make your speech worthless. Nobody trusts you.
As a liar I was giving an appearance to others of being a child of the devil... The father of lies and liars.
In I Timothy, liars are put in the same category as "immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers... and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching." ....where liars are also considered hypocrits with a seared conscience.
In revelation it says "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
As a Christian I cannot lose my salvation... but such a statement, "If YOUR a Christian, I don't want to be one" should surely make me question it... and find out what to do about it.
So how does a liar stop being a liar according to the Word of God?
Is it just when I stop lying? or is it also when I set my mind on being a truth teller... a woman of my word. Trustworthy... for the glory of God.
I want to be a woman that hears and listens to God's Word. I want to be a woman that does not look away from the mirror... God's Word of truth. I want to look intently into this perfect law that gives freedom. I want my Yes to be Yes and my No, No.
Can I do this perfectly... no. But it is my daily goal... even when it hurts.
I look back at the time this was said to me... has there been progress? Yes, I see progress and I see room to grow.
My inspiration?
Hannah. She kept a very hard promise without wavering. She had an unbending faith in God. She was a fervent prayer warrior that radiates joy on the day she fulfills her promise to a God she feircely loved above anything else... this woman raised her sword in the battle for God's glory. Hannah "willingly offered up her most priceless treasure to shut the mouth of the one (Peninnah) who dared to mock her God."- a quote from Carolyn Custis James in the book, "Lost Women of the Bible." (A BOOK I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!)
I SERVE A FAITHFUL GOD! and there is much wisdom in trusting HIM alone, no matter what, with EVERY detail.
God used that hard place to open my eyes to a sin that needed immediate attention. I fell flat on my face in utter humiliation and despair that I would be such a person before such a faithful, holy God.
I Samuel 2:9 says God will "gaurd the feet of His saints."
I am honored that instead of turning away from that mirror, that the Lord, by His grace, caused me to gaze intently so that I can work daily at being a woman of my word for the glory of God.
To be trustworthy... To be faithful...
I have a long way to go in so many things... but by the grace of God alone, there is progress. To HIM be ALL the glory.

So what are some of the

Christ-centered habits

I have sought to form to replace

the bad habit of not being

a woman of my word?

(1.) My husband is very discerning. I seek his advice and approval for taking on anything, any ministry, etc. (...and when I fail to do this, YIKES!) Along with this I pray for wisdom... which God tends to provide not only in His revealed Word... but also out of the mouth of my husband. I am a slow learner... but I am learning NOT to talk my husband into things. It ALWAYS backfires.
(2.) I immediately WRITE THINGS DOWN on my calendar or on a peice of paper that I transfer ASAP to my calendar so that I can be faithful to keep that commitment.
(3.) I ALWAYS say "God-willing..." when I make plans. Because with 6 children (and 4 of them are ages 5 and under)... THINGS HAPPEN, kids get sick, etc... they vomit on you just as you have gotten dressed in your BEST dress right when you are about to walk out the door to go to a speaking engagement.
They fall and bust their little lip open and you can't say, "I'm sorry, I cannot comfort you right now... you might get blood all over my outfit" as once again, you are about to walk out the door to get to church early to prepare to teach a lesson on patience.

Stuck in Muck- Heresy above all heresy PART ONE

This made me cringe and cry out to God. I seriously thought this site could not possibly be real.


They state-
"Glorify God:
With your dear husband, you earned a fortune trading spices from the Orient. Since his death, it has fallen on you to uphold and advance the family reputation. For a traditionalist like you, the best way to gain the respect of your community is by commissioning an altarpiece for your local church.
Demonstrate my humility toward God and increase my wealth at the same time! What could be better?... Jesus said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."
But...with your patronage of the church, Monna Margherita, I am sure that God will make an exception for you. An altarpiece will tell the story of the Bible to our many illiterate souls, and inspire more to seek heaven. What subject do you choose for your altarpiece?
Madonna and Child—The Virgin Mary and baby Jesus—a classic that never goes out of style or A Saint of your choice—it's nice to personalize the subject... What materials should we use to create this symbol of your devotion?
Tempera or gold leaf—nothing says "heaven" like gold leaf!
Oil paint—for people that insist that things look "real"
Wood—nothing says devotion like carved wood!"
This is sadly a real site. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself: www.renaissanceconnection.org
This museum thinks this is a productive use of time for children... "Through the "Be a Patron" activity, students can role-play the commissioning of an artwork." and even includes lesson plans.

God NEEDS me?

According to Pink in regards to GOD'S INHERITANCE in "Comfort for
Christians", Pink states, "...there is something that GOD needs, namely, vessels. Just as the sun needs the earth to shine upon, so God needs vessels to fill, vessels through which HIS glory may be reflected, vessels in which the riches of HIS grace may be lavished..."

I am struggling with this.

Perhaps it is because I am misinterpreting what Pink is saying, but it seems clear.
Is God a glory seeker?
It seems my GOD does not require the strokes of my approval.
I know that I am called to glorify HIM and enjoy HIM forever... but what does that mean?

Does HE really NEED me to glorify Him? It seems that GOD does NOT need me to accomplish HIS work or even glorify HIM ("If the crowds become silent, these stones would cry out."-Lk.19:) but IT DELIGHTS HIM. I am to walk in obedience and glorify HIM... not to "help" HIM as though HE needed anything... He is GOD. He is self sufficient.
But as a bird flies, a fish swims, I am purposed to glorify HIM.

Psalm 8 says, "O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth, Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens! From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength Because of Your adversaries, To make the enemy and the revengeful cease. When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty! You make him to rule over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, All sheep and oxen, And also the beasts of the field, The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea, Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. O LORD, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth! "

My only right to heaven lies in Christ. How can I not give praise and glory to my GOD for adopting me because of HIS SON.

God doesn't need me. I need HIM.

Psalm 86:8-15 says, "There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord, Nor are there any works like Yours. All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord, And they shall glorify Your name. For You are great and do wondrous deeds; You alone are God. Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name. I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever. For Your lovingkindness toward me is great, And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol. O God, arrogant men have risen up against me, And a band of violent men have sought my life, And they have not set You before them. But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth. "

Heretical Wordly Spew vs. Christian World view PART ONE

There are only two types of people... Non-Christians and Christians.
Non-Christians aren't "less spiritual Christians" in that there is no such thing as a "Carnal Christian." THey are truly "those who live according to the sinful nature" and "have their minds set on what that nature desires."
They live by the sinful nature. Their minds are on earthly things.
Christians are those "who live in accordance with the Spirit" and "have their minds set on what the Spirit desires."
They live by God's Spirit. Their minds are set on heavenly things.
There are certainly different levels within each group.
So what do I think about when my mind is "neutral"? Is there such a thing? What do I think about when I am driving... besides not getting in a wreck? Where does my mind wander when I cannot sleep? Am I consumed by God?
MY FAVORITE HYMN is "I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR." It was written by a woman with lots of children like me. It was the only hymn she ever wrote. Perhaps because she summed it up in one big swoop.

That's not fair.

My husband reads the Bible to our family in the evenings. We are reading through I Samuel. Last night he read chapter 2. In verses 22-25 is Eli's rebuke of his wicked sons. Verse 25 says, "But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for the LORD desired to put them to death."
Is that fair?
...It is Perfectly fair.
The Lord essentially chose to leave them in their natural state of wickedness, thus they in turn chose not to obey Eli. The Lord chose not to extend unmerited favour towards them. He chose NOT for them undeserved compassion but deserved justice.
GOD DOES NOT OWE MERCY!
God is NEVER obligated to be merciful to rebellious people. And God is NEVER unjust... He is both justice and mercy.
Why then instead of justice, does God pour out His grace? Why does this perfectly holy God even tolerate sin? Why do we exploit God's gracious forebearance and expect His mercy?
IF GOD WERE TO DEAL WITH ME ACCORDING TO JUSTICE (if God were to be PERFECTLY fair), I WOULD PERISH IMMEDIATELY!